


Nimble fingers: How a pitcher from Seattle stole the hearts of the Charleston Shoe Thieves

by Skylark Velásquez (TwoHeadedButt)



Category: Blaseball (Video Game)
Genre: Charleston Shoe Thieves, Day X, Gen, Hall Stars, Henderswap, Post-Season/Series 09, Post-Season/Series 10, Season/Series 09, Season/Series 10
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-06
Updated: 2020-11-06
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:07:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 680
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27417013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwoHeadedButt/pseuds/Skylark%20Vel%C3%A1squez
Summary: Skylark Velásquez (no relation) reporting for the Charleston(s) Post and Gazette and Courier and Mail, Splorts section.
Kudos: 8
Collections: Charleston Shoe Thieves Fanfiction





	Nimble fingers: How a pitcher from Seattle stole the hearts of the Charleston Shoe Thieves

On Day 64 of Season 9, Jaylen Hotdogfingers found herself pitching for the Canada Moist Talkers against the Charleston Shoe Thieves in Feedback weather. She threw a spectacular shutout for eight and two-thirds innings before swapping teams on the final pitch and stealing the shutout from herself.

Despite this impressive act of thievery, many Shoe Thieves were initially reluctant to welcome Hotdogfingers to their team due to her role in the delacings (incinerations) of several beloved ex-Thieves, as well as her having traded teams with fan favorite pitcher and dog Beasley Gloom. Rumors of conflict pervaded the league, up to and including an alleged physical altercation with teammate Esme Ramsey. When questioned about the alleged incident, Hotdogfingers declined to comment, and Ramsey responded to the question by taking the reporter's microphone and eating it while maintaining eye contact.

Whatever turmoil there may have been among the players, it did not detract from their performance on the field, and with Hotdogfingers in the pitching rotation the Thieves continued their strongest season to date. Finishing at the top of the Mild League, the Shoe Thieves bested the Hades Tigers as well as Hotdogfingers' original team the Seattle Garages before facing two-time former champions the Baltimore Crabs. The Thieves pulled off a stunning reverse sweep against the Crabs, stopping their ascension in its tracks, with Jaylen instrumental in securing the second win of the series for Charleston.

As fate would have it, however, the end of Internet Series 9 was only the beginning of the Shoe Thieves' trials. Within seconds of Stu Trololol's winning three-run homer, the Shelled One descended and summoned its Pods to battle the newly made champions. Jaylen earned the respect of her new teammates in that moment when she bravely stepped up to pitch in place of injured Thieves manager Cornelius Games.

The team fought heroically together in the face of impossible odds, but were ultimately defeated. They returned to the immaterial plane having forged an unbreakable bond: the bond of becoming unlikely champions together, of facing unthinkable horrors together, and of becoming _extremely cursed_ together.

In an offseason interview, frequent toddler Velasquez Alstott stated, "Jaylen stole our hearts, so we're gonna teach her to steal shoes." Mx. Hotdogfingers was seen immediately thereafter frantically shushing Alstott and carrying her off the stage.

The 10th regular season progressed almost uneventfully by comparison, as the complete absence of Feedback weather prevented any instances of Flickering. The Shoe Thieves coped impressively with their curses, turning out record-high wins in spite of them. With Hotdogfingers now a mainstay of the rotation, the team intended to present her with noise-cancelling headphones at season's end, both to shield her from further Feedback events and so that she could listen to the Garages if she felt homesick. It was not to be, however, as an as-yet unexplained phenomenon caused Jaylen to return to the Void at the conclusion of the regular season. Adding to the consternation surrounding this event was the appearance of infamous former Crabs player Tillman Henderson in her place. The Thieves were reported at the time of the incident to be "furious" and "planning to steal her back".

Despite the upset to their plans, the Shoe Thieves made another impressive showing in the playoffs, but ultimately lost the Season 10 championship to the Crabs. The Crabs ascended, but were one-shotted by the Pods when called to battle. It was at this point that Jaylen reemerged, leading a team of formerly incinerated players out of the Hall of Flame, and defeated the Shelled One with a combination of team spirit, sabotage, and good old-fashioned blaseball. The Hall Stars were released, and the Pods, Jaylen among them, were returned to the immaterial plane.

Upon realizing that Jaylen had left to serve the greater good, the Shoe Thieves found the parting easier to accept. In accordance with their motto "once a Thief, always a Thief," they will always consider her one of their own. The Shoe Thieves miss Jaylen dearly, wish her the best on the Lovers, and sincerely hope that she is enjoying her nap.

**Author's Note:**

> Skylark Antigone Velásquez y Rivera is an independent splorts reporter and "unapologetic Jaylen stan" contributing to various Charleston publications including the POGCOM, Sidekick Magazine, Charleston Underground and the Footprint.


End file.
